The Twitter Facts of Life


“You take the good/You take the bad/You take them both/And there you have/The Facts of Life”


Usual disclaimer: this may meander.

I was born short and never really grew out of it. I also spent all my years as an only child in a relatively stable, quiet little household. We didn’t always have a television so it wasn’t unusual for my family to be sprawled out in the living room, each of us silently reading — together but alone. I liked it.

But imagine my shock when it came time to go to a place called School.

My mom and dad walked me to some pre-k place in Queens or maybe Manhattan. I just remember crossing all the busy street corners holding both of their hands.

When we got to this place, my father bent down to my height and issued one of his infamous commandments: “Remember, your name is…

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